Dear Dr. Silence:
A few days ago, as part of your tireless efforts to put a chink into Evolutionism's armor, you have written that while the evolutionist regulars on this forum consider you a moronic, lying troll, many evolutionist lurkers have thanked you secretly in email for setting them straight on the life story of Charles Darwin. In response, some True Evolutionist Believers have had the gall to question the veracity of your claims, pointing out that anybody and their donkey can state exactly the same thing. I, for one, will not stand for such insolence. Though I know that the evolutionists here will descend on me like a colony of Flavobacteria on a piece of nylon, my conscience dictates that I must now join you in your eloquent struggle for truth.
You see, like many here, I was once a full-blown Evolutionist. Like all evolutionary biologists, biochemists, biophysicists, and other evolution practitioners world-wide, I worshipped the Goddess Natural Selection, and followed the teachings of her High Priest, Charles Darwin. I followed Evolutionism's grisly rituals - unspeakable things like reading textbooks and scientific publications, hanging around other Evolutionists, and, on alternate Thursdays, sacrificing kittens on the altar of the Goddess Natural Selection to see if she would turn them into puppies. I was set in my evilutionist ways, content that I have found the one True Path in life. But it all changed the moment you started posting.
You see, your straightforward, frequent, and forceful assertions that Darwin, or possibly his brother, did drugs at one time or another, have shatterred my faith in my former High Priest. I am glad you never backed up these allegations with any "facts" or "evidence": evolutionists obsess about such little details, but you have shown me that they only serve to obscure the Truth. Your subsequent pointing out that Darwin didn't even have a science degree - at a time when universities didn't officially confer science degrees, no less! - was the final blow to my worship of this idol. The High Priest has fallen indeed!
With my faith in Darwin thus undermined, my entire Evolutionist belief system began crumbling into dust. What use are 150 years of research by tens of thousands of hard-working scientists, when the man who started it all turned out to be unworthy of worship? Suddenly, I saw that the twin nested hierarchy could be attributed to a common designer, the fossil record could be dismissed with a wave of a hand, and all observed speciation events could be denied or referred to as change within a "kind". How could I pay any heed to the abundance of research proposing detailed evolutionary relationship between organisms, or observing the real-time evolution of novel proteins and complex functions, when I couldn't escape the allegation that Darwin did drugs? Even fields like computer science could not escape the taint of this profound revelation. How can anyone in their right mind think that evolutionary algorithms could possibly solve complex real-life problems, when the very man who proposed the idea of variation and selection turned out to be less than a saint?
In short, thanks to you, Dr. Silence, I have seen the error of my ways, and abandoned my faith in Evolutionism. I have even come to realize that there is no Goddess Natural Selection: that it is simply a way of describing that some organisms are better suited than others for surviving in certain environments. In other words, with your guidance, I've realized that everything you would think I believed in was a lie! Thanks to you wisdom and passion for Truth, I have abandoned my faith in Evolutionism, and am ready to follow you in the worship of your Lord. I believe I can surmise who that might be from the 1488 in your handle.
So, once again, Dr. Silence, thank you for helping me see the light, and turning me from Evolutionism's sinful path. I hope my testimony gives courage to other former evolutionists to come forth, and speak up on how you've changed their lives. In the meantime, I hope that my post lays to rest any remaining doubts about your integrity in the minds of Evolutionist Believers here, and shows them that many lurkers undoubtedly support you in email just as I do now.