apollonia asked this question on 5/7/2000:
I have been depressed for about two years, I am 18 years old, in college. Even though it was hard for me, I finally had the guts to go to counselling this year. I was quickly diagnosed by a doctor (as if I needed it confirmed) to have severe depression. He prescribed a heavy dose of effexor and suggested I keep on with the counselling. But I hated counselling, so I quit, and I refuse to take medication, for a lot of reasons.... and I know rejecting help is my fault, but I still wish I had somewhere else to go... I want desperately to feel good and go on with life, but I jsut can't make myself because on some level I really don't want to get better... I don't feel I deserve it. So now I am backing myself into this aweful place with nowhere to go... any thoughts? (besides suicide...)
Desertphile gave this response on 5/10/2000:
Hi. Please note that I am NOT a doctor.
I read the answers you have received so far. Most are good, at least one is very poor. Please take care in accepting advice from strangers. You doctor really does no best than the experts here. Be ware of the person who tells you are suggests to you to NOT take medication when a doctor has recomended to you that you do.
One of the reasons for taking an anti-depressant and receiving psychoanalysis is that the medication "lifts" a person's depressive mood enough for psychoanalysis to be effective. Fffexor is a good choice in my lay opinion, for allowing someone to be "open to recovery."
And that's my point here in this reply. You wrote that you felt you somehow do not "deserve" to be healthy and happy. I'll have you know that damn few human beings deserve to be misreable! Hitler would be one. L.R. Hubbard would be another. Indeed, most tyrants. Are you really that bad a person?! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT.
You deserve to be healthy and happy. It is the right born to every human being, if they can achieve it.
The Effexor will help you realize that you -do- deserve to be mentally healthy. That is the great benefit from the medication. It is effective in helping people see that yes, they -DO- want to "feel better," but more important, they start a person down the road to recovery to the point where a person can see that wellness is achievable.
PLEASE reconsider your doctor's recomendation, and take your medication. Depression is treatable. In three or four weeks you will be pleased that you did, and perhaps you will even wish you had not ceased taking it in the first place.
Once you have started down the road to recovery due to the Effexor, you may wish to discuss with a psychologist the reasons why you feel you did not deserve to be healthy and happy. Gaining that insight will greatly help complete the recovery.
You wrote that you have "backed yourself in a corner." I'll suggest to you that anyone who walks into a corner can walk out if they so choose. The trick is the desire to do so, which medication can help a person achieve. It is therefore a bit of a "Catch 22" here. "Taking medication will help you improve enough to wish to take medication." The way to break the contradiction is to realize that you DESERVE being as healthy and happy as you can achieve. It is not a simple lesson to learn, but it can be done.
Do not be like me and fail to accept treatment for FORTY YEARS. You are 18 years old. GOD, how I wish I had your opportunity here when I was 18! There was no miracle drugs like Effexor, Prozac, Paxil, etc., when I was 18. Please therefore realize how very "lucky" ypou are that Effexor is available for you! If I had Effexor when I was 18, some 20 years of my life you have been much better than it had been.
PLEASE follow your doctor's orders and take the medication prescribed to you.
The average rating for this answer is 4.2.