treseq asked this question on 4/22/2000:
I and my wife, Karen, have been married for 11 years. My son is 9 and my daughter is 3.
My wife has a temper problem and things that happened to her when she was in school and with her family, which spreads to all areas of our marrige, ie relationships with family, friends, children and neighbours and myself.
I have somehow managed to survive this. She has left home since eight weeks and would like to reunite. We have discussed our problems and both agreed that this was the main barrier.
My wife has this problem much before our marriage ie with her parents, brothers and sister. She has deep rooted issues in her which I am unable to help despite my best efforts. She has realised that if we do decide to reunited this issue will have to be addressed properly with concrete ways of handling this.
She has been to psycologist and she says that they are of no use as they only give her anti-depressant medication, which she refuses to take.
I would like to keep this family united but I am affraid if this is not solved we will be back to sqare one! We have seperated 3 times before and I cannot take this nor is it conductive for the children.
If you can guide me in some direction that we can look to solve this problem I do not know how I could repay you.
Should you require more information that will help you to put me in the right direction for help please contact me on firstname.lastname@example.org
Thank you Trevor Sequeira
LilExpert gave this response on 4/29/2000:
Well if you do wish to reunite with your wife then she is going to have to seek some sort of counseling to control her temper/anger. Your children are growing up and there not going to be able to take seeing mommy or daddy come and go all the time they wont be able to understand whats going on. Especially if you keep getting back together.
If the counselor just wants to put her on anti-depressants then she needs to speak up with the counselor and tell them thats not the course of treatment she needs. Maybe she needs to talk about why she acts this way and try to solve it that way.
In this situation its not just her life that hangs in the balance if she gets treatment or not its your life and her two kids also.
I think before you can get back together with her these problems need to be resolved because you cant lead a happy relationship if the problems arent resolved.