treseq asked this question on 4/22/2000:
I and my wife, Karen, have been married for 11 years. My son is 9 and my daughter is 3.
My wife has a temper problem and things that happened to her when she was in school and with her family, which spreads to all areas of our marrige, ie relationships with family, friends, children and neighbours and myself.
I have somehow managed to survive this. She has left home since eight weeks and would like to reunite. We have discussed our problems and both agreed that this was the main barrier.
My wife has this problem much before our marriage ie with her parents, brothers and sister. She has deep rooted issues in her which I am unable to help despite my best efforts. She has realised that if we do decide to reunited this issue will have to be addressed properly with concrete ways of handling this.
She has been to psycologist and she says that they are of no use as they only give her anti-depressant medication, which she refuses to take.
I would like to keep this family united but I am affraid if this is not solved we will be back to sqare one! We have seperated 3 times before and I cannot take this nor is it conductive for the children.
If you can guide me in some direction that we can look to solve this problem I do not know how I could repay you.
Should you require more information that will help you to put me in the right direction for help please contact me on firstname.lastname@example.org
Thank you Trevor Sequeira
desertphile gave this response on 4/22/2000:
Note: I am NOT a doctor!
Oddly enough, your spouse's behavior and your concern over it is very common. I am surprised that your spouse will not take her doctor's advice and accept medication--- the SSRI family of anti-depressants can also effect for the better the behavior you describe.
My suggestion to you is to read the book "Listening To Prozac" by Peter D. Kramer, and then ask your spouse to read it. The book describes a patient who had somewhat similiar behavior as your spouse: that woman greatly benefited from Prozac, and the family life was very much improved.
People refuse to take medication for many reasons: the chief reason is due to ignorance or misunderstanding about what the drug does.