If it isn't fun, it isn't Scientology.
When was the last time you actually felt it was fun?
When was the last time you didn't have to worry about if you say the wrong thing, that somone would write a report on you?
How many times have you not said or done something you wanted to do, because you learned the lesson of "if the org doesn't agree with it, I will have to pay for sec checks so I better just do nothing or say nothing"?
Do you REALLY think it is ok to treat people in the way Dennis Clarke, along with two other TOP OF THE BRIDGE scientologists treated Ursula?
How many times have you heard "someone messed it up, so come in and do this new improved version that is NOW source? (especially in regards OT 7) I mean, I did OT 5 twice, and OT 6 THREE TIMES! And all three times I had to pay for someone else's error, as I didn't write the course, and neither did you.
Do you ever wonder why you never see our top management, or OSA actually using communication and arc to handle people that are upset in some way with Scientology? Do you see them actually being civil to Bob Minton, or Stacy Brooks, who obviously have some legitimate concerns? Are you civil to people, or do you do whatever "the group does"?
For OT 7's, when was the last time you had auditing at Flag, where you really felt that that session was just for you, and noone else? Not for RTC to "see" if your ethics are in, not for an auditor to show you how good they are or test their "new and improved skills" on you, but for you, and you alone?
How about when you found an altered issue, deleted issue, cancelled, or just plain "new" issue, and you just KNEW there was something funny with it?
Why didn't you do anything?
Or if you did, and actually had the nerve to write it up, when was the last time you actually either a: got an answer saying it will be fixed and b: Actually saw it GET fixed?
Why are you letting your Church slowly get destroyed, and scientology get less and less fun?
Way down deep, and only when you are alone with your thoughts, does a resounding thought just keep on coming back, over and over and over, no matter how many sec checks, no matter how many ethics handlings.
And that thought is.....SOMETHING IS WRONG.
It just won't go away, will it? For Sea Org Members, no matter how much David miscaviage yells at you, or how much blackmail is on you, you know.
SOMETHING IS WRONG.
Do you know what courage is? It is doing the right thing, EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE AFRAID.
You won't just "get courage", or "buy it", or even "learn" it, you have to go ahead and do the right thing, even though you might be deathly terrified of all the horrible things that will happen if you ignore this fear.
I have had a lot of 7's come up to me over the last 9 years, and EVERY SINGLE ONE was unhappy with one thing or another, and each one said something is wrong, but I could see the fear in their eyes to even "say" this.
I never betrayed even one of their confidences, but it greatly saddened me to see so many scared people.
I know that scared people, will often strike out unthinkingly, or do anything at all to try to make the fear go away.
The only thing I have ever seen make it go away is to face it down.
What are you afraid of?
Besides losing your bridge, (which is a lie)
Is it getting Declared? Your wife/husband leaving you? Your kids disconnecting?, losing your job? Having your pc folder data used against you? Losing your friends?
These things all could happen, it's true, but what do you really have?
If your wife/husband/kids/friends could dump you just like that-how much did they ever care about you in the first place?
Wouldn't you like to have a relationship again that is not based on whether you are in good standing or not?
When did the Church come to control all our lives so much, and why did we let them?
FEAR is why.
Fear is not fun, and it is not scientology.
You will NEVER make it to OT being afraid, you are lying to yourself if you think you will.
Open your eyes, so tightly closed out of fear, and look.
It's not so bad, really.
Really look at your org, mission, or group. How many Public are there? How many new public?
Educate yourself on the attacks on the Church, Rick Ross's site, Veritas, Freezone.org, and yes even Operation Clambake. Andreas has assembled a very comprehensive site with all kinds of data, that you were never allowed to see.
Look around at the OT 7's that you know, how are they REALLY doing? Ask them if they like the six month sec checks, and watch their indicators closely.
Ask yourself why you are letting someone control who you can communicate to, and who you can't. Don't fall for the PR line of "it's your choice". Just go to ethics and tell them you want to talk to Bob Minton, and see what happens.
This is America, where people fought and died for the right to have freedom of speech. Look back, and remember when you never had to think about whether you would "get in trouble" or "lose your eternity" for who you communicate to.
The Bridge is the Bridge to Total Freedom, so ask yourself, are you more free now, or less?
Be honest in your answer, be brave, and do what's right.
Your eternity depends on it.