Anonymous asked this question on 7/9/2000:
I have been going with my girlfriend for about 5 months. We have been friends for about 8 months. Our realationship started off as friends..she was in a bad realationship at the time...she was basically with a guy that just wanted her for sex there was no communication or emotional connection. And we became closer as a result of this I gave her the communication and the emotional conection...she finally reached a breaking point and broke up with that guy and we started haveing an intimate realationship pretty soon after this. And things are going fine so far...Then one weekend she goes out with her girlfriend and meets this guy at a bar and it turns out he lives close to her nad they decide to hang out.Which at the time she told me nothing about...she said she just went out with her girlfriend and played pool..etc Then one night about a week later she showed up late and when I asked why she was late she said she hung out with this guy that she met a few weeks ago(the night she was out with her girlfriend)..and she didnt want to tell me because she didnt want me to freakout...she reassured me they were just friends and that hes a great guy blah blah blahThen she told me she has alot of guy friends and she allways will and I "will just have to get use to it" So im like ok cool..I dont know if I can I told her I will try. So another weeek passes and she tells me that she will be over after work on this particular night which she gets off at 11pm so Im thinking 11:30 right well at 12:45 she shows up and is in a good mood walks into my studio proceeds to get undressed ad if nothing happened adn then when I confront her she gets all defensive and says that she had to go home after work and that she told me that which she didnt...then she tells me this guy the one mentioned above wanted to hang out so they went and had a drink at a bar down the street from her house...I then asked why she didnt call me to tell me she wasnt comeing over after work...and she gave me some lame answer...I told her I wont put up with this shit and things have been cool for a while...Im a little confused about what all this means so if you can offer some insight id appretiate it..
sex_guru gave this response on 7/11/2000:
Well.....you caught her on the rebound which usually isn't a good thing. She wants (and needs) her freedom and independence. All you can do is let her know how you feel, tell her straight out that the fact that she has male friends doesn't bother you but that you just want her to be honest with you and to let you know when she is going to be late. Not that you are checking up but that it is common courtesy so that you don't sit around waiting all night for her.
If she can't give you common, human courtesy then you need to leave.