Anonymous asked this question on 7/8/2000:
Me and my girlfrien have been together for about 6 months and we have a great realationship except the sex is relly not to good. I am 33 and have erectile dysfunction(I have seen a doctor who checked me out and found on of the main veins in my penis is not working correctly..so the prescribed viagra which works)I can get erections when with my lover who is 25 and has a pretty good sex drive. Our normal process for making love is her laying there me performing oral sex and the we do the missionary position and thats it. I feel like shes a lazy lover and I dont know how to tell her..Im use to alot of forplay kissing etc and when I tried to kiss her sha said she didnt like it during sex and I love it during sex...also she says I come too fast which I suppose I do compared to her last BF who she said could last for 15min and I on a good day last 3 min. If this was it it wouldnt be so bad however theres more...This last time we had sex she said the my technique was too rough I needed to go slower and not pound so hard and taht she feels that our sex drives are not syncronized meaning shes not horny when I am and I when she is. Then she tells me its ok not to worry that she knows this couple who are married and dont even have sex because the guy dosent feel worthy and that he told his wife she could see other men....but that she didnt... So while she is telling me tall this Im feeling really bad and am wondering why is she telling me this story...does she want to start having sex with another man...so thats where we stand sexually for now and Im not sure what to make of all this any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks J
the_cute_cleopatra gave this response on 7/11/2000:
One of the things that can ruin a relationship is sex. Be glad you are learning at an early stage that you aren't compatible. May I ask how long you have been having sex? If it is for several months and you have this problem, things most likely won't change. If it has been for a few weeks, there might be hope. I must say that any woman who would openly compare former lovers with you is not worthy to be called a women. I would never tell my bf if I had had better. If you decide to continue this relationship, you will eventully need counceling. Either to become more compatible in bed, or when one of you ends up cheating on the other person. There is someone out there for each of you that will work out better. Honest.