arsmith36 asked this question on 7/13/2000:
I am seeing a man who has a 7 year old daughter. I didn't think much of it, since I love kids, especially little girls. But his daughter is not too happy when I'm around. Also, he spoils her rotten, so when she does start pouting, he drops everything and tends to her . He admits he does spoil her, and that her behavior has been unacceptable the last time I was around. She was pouting, walking away, and being a general spoiled kid. I have a hard time with this behaviour, as I think strong parenting includes discipline and respect. So, I am not sure how to proceed with this. When it is just the 2 of us - it's great - he is so sweet, attentive, and just really great, and we have great chemistry. but I know that is not the entire package. Any advice for me? How should we as a couple proceed - we have talked about ways we can try to get through this time, and even went to the bookstore to try to find a book on it (no luck yet).
muffin1960 gave this response on 7/13/2000:
Put yourself in that little girls place. Her dad may be all that she has and she may see you as a threat. Taking her dad away.
She is young and can learn to adjust to you gradually.
Also remember kids can sense when an adult is annoyed with them and that can make her even more badder.
You and her dad can do fun things with her together make her the center of attention for awhile. You and her can also try going out alone. Try and get some kind of connection with her. She may not be as bad as you think. There is always a reason for children's actions.
The key thing that may help is to not demand too much of dads attention while she is around for awhile, do it gradually as she becomes accustomed to you. If she does interupt let dad be the annoyed one not you. She'll act even worser if she sees that it upsets you. All your progress will be for not.
**** I know because I use to be that way, daughters are that way about there fathers when they are young but before long it usually stops. *****
IF you plan on being in this man's life your going to have to tread easy with his daugther until she doesn't see you as a threat but someone she adores and it can happen. I finally did like someone my dad had because she didn't make me feel like a outsider or make me feel that my dad loved her more and that's the point. HOPE THIS HELPS GOOD LUCK