Anonymous asked this question on 7/9/2000:
i really do not know where to start. I have been dating a guy that i met via net for about 8 months now. up till this past weekend, we have been really close and actually he had proposed to me about a month ago. I could see visions of spending the rest of my life with him. I love him with all of my heart and soul. I am extremely scared at the moment. I havent eaten anything hardly all weekend and I cant sleep. I cannot cry anymore tears. I have tried to cry because I think I would feel better but cant. Anyway, one of his old "girl" "friends" came into town this weekend. They say their relationship is like sister and brother, but they do things that someone in a relationship would do. It is all weird to me. cuddling, hugging, wrestling, ect. everytime they sit beside each other, the have to be touching some how. (hands, feet, ect) I am sorry but I dont do this with just "friends" He was fussing that he felt as if I were putting him second place in our relationship a few weeks ago because I was chatting and hanging out with our friends. I did not hug, cuddle, wrestle, ect. with them. well i do sometimes, but gee not like 24-7 each wakening hour that they are together. i really do not think that i am over reacting. I am sick!! really depressed and cant think straight. He reassures me that I am the only one and that they are just friends and there is nothing else there. He calls her his sister. HHMM...ya know what??? I have a friend that says that too, but he wants more than that and just says I am like his sister in front of everyone else. I know this but no one else knows it. I just can not deal with someone that acts so flirty and shows these so-called "just friend" feelings. I do not want a relationship like this, I dont share my man, and I def. dont want some other female hanging all over him!! I really dont have a question to ask, because I know you cannot make things better for me. Just asking for your advice and friendship. I need like the biggest hug anyone could possibly offer at the moment! thanks! =0)
SeekTrueLove gave this response on 7/10/2000:
I'm sorry about how you feel about the current situation. I'm not sure what kind of advice to give you here other than to give you a few questions you could ask yourself.
Do you really trust this man?
In my estimation, it doesn't sound like he's earned your trust just yet.
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a man you really don't trust yet?
And finally, if the close contact affection that he has with his ex really bothers you, and he still does it...then what is truly the worth of this person who doesn't really care about your feelings?
You say that you don't want a relationship like this and that you dont' share your man with anybody. I understand how you feel. I guess you're gonna have to make some tough choices regarding this guy.
Good luck and here's a bunch of big hugs! OOOOOOO
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