Anonymous asked this question on 4/20/2000:
My ex-husband refuses to let me get on with my life. He was emotionally abusive while we were married but became physically abusive after I left. He has seen Dr's and been an out patient a couple of times since we seperated but he still can not accept the fact that I left. He has threatened suicide a couple of times and has stalked, beaten, raped and taped me over the last year. I want his family to get involved and try to help him because I believe that he feels like no one loves him and by his family not getting involved it is just making him more desperate to try to keep me. He wants to be loved more than anything else I think that is why he won't let go. He thinks everyone he ever loved has left him so he thinks he can stop me. Do you know of any programs or ca you suggest what needs done?
Patti_Ja gave this response on 4/20/2000:
Been there...my ex was a Deputy Sherriff in a small community...here is what finally worked...he got fired because he was unstable and then he really began to stalk me...I took out a restraining order...it is called an ex-parte order of restraint and I took it out at a poverty level...that means that the service did not cost me anything to maintain...then I called legal aid and got a feminist attorney...I asked for a woman who could fight the system...then everytime he crossed the line I had the police arrest him for violating the order...everytime...I did not feel sorry for this man because he needed to be loved...so did and do I...I made the police enforce this order by taking names and badge numbers if the Police refused to do their job...believe me if you even look like you want a badge number from an unsympathetic cop...they become very obliging...and when it came time to show up in court I was there...he did not show up so the restraining order was kept in place and he had to pay the court costs, attorney fees (even if the attorney is free for you there is a chance that they will be paid by him,) and he paid over $80.00 a month to keep the restraining order in place...It took awhile for him to get the message that I was through with the relationship...and because we have a child together it is rough...but it has now been 13 years and I am no longer afraid to walk down the street for fear of this man...and that is what counts
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