Anonymous asked this question on 3/18/2000:
i used to be physically abused now its emotional abuse .i want to kno how i can stop the emotional abuse and have a better relationship with him again.please help.how can i communicate more with him?
jellygator gave this response on 3/19/2000:
One thing that can help you start breaking the cycle is to empower yourself. When he becomes verbally abusive, remember that you are choosing to participate and choosing to be with him. This may influence how you view the relationship and will certainly give you the courage to take steps to stop accepting this behavior.
Secondly, make a list of things you will not tolerate from people. Set your boundaries. For instance, "I will not let anyone call me names." Then determine the consequences (what you will do if that event happens). "If someone calls me a name, I will physically leave the area for at least one hour," or "If someone calls me a name, I will tell them that such behavior is hurtful to me. If they continue to call me names, I will..."
When determining consequences, make sure that it's something you are able to do and willing to do. Then, if the situation arised, FOLLOW THROUGH!
I think that you can't change him, but if you change yourself and the way you do things, then the relationship will change, too.
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