I haven't heard back from you yet so I don't know where you stand now. From what I've been reading it sounds like you may have been attracted to Scientology by their anti-psychiatry stand which is being fueled by your feelings caused by the abuse that you experienced at the hands of psychiatrists. If I'm way off base here just let me know and I'll shut up. In the mean time there are a few things that I just need to say. I'd hate to see you go from one abusive situation right into the hands of another -- Scientology.
I was lured into Scientology not by an emotional situation but by a physical one. I was in severe physical pain and was very desperate. Scientology exploited my desperation to the fullest. They promised me that Scientology was 100% effective on everyone and that it would cure me completely. At the same time they threatened me with the claim that if I didn't start getting Scientology services right away that I would get worse and worse and worse and I would continue to do so for all eternity. I was very emotional at the time and I bought into their lies.
When I finally left Scientology I had to face the fact that everything I had been forced to read, everything I was forced to do, every thought reform process they had run on me had a HIDDEN agenda behind it. They had constantly told me one thing and then actually delivered something entirely different. In the end I finally had to admit to myself that I HAD BEEN SCAMMED.
Hubbard was a science fiction writer who went insane and got lost in his own fantasy world. He really believed that he was this super-hero, that only HE could save the universe from this imaginary evil ruler "Xenu".
After WW2 he went to a psychiatrist for emotional help and was diagnosed as "unstable". When he first came up with Dianetics and showed it to the mental health profession they laughed at him for his ridiculous theories about the human mind. He couldn't handle criticism about himself so he started attacking all psychiatrist, the mental health profession and anyone else who spoke out against him. Lost in his own fantasies of self-importance he conjured up this fantasy that all psychiatrists were dramatizing Xenu's implants and trying to destroy the planet.
Scientologists bring up the abuses in psychiatry for two reasons.
1. They are acting out the psychotic fantasies that Hubbard has indoctrinated or hypnotized them into believing.
2. They are shifting the focus of Scientology's crimes against humanity away from THEM onto a "third party" so that they can continue doing number 1.
Scientology's real goal is to scam you of all your money and all the money that you can beg, borrow or steal so that they can continue to dramatize Hubbard's psychotic fantasy's. Scientology's REAL goal is to take over the world and force everyone to act out Hubbard's psychosis. To them that's what a "cleared planet" is -- everyone on the planet hypnotized into dramatizing Hubbard's psychotic fantasy. A Scientology world ( "cleared planet" ) is a very sick world. I know I've been on the outer fringes of it already. The planet already has enough problems without having the social cancer of Scientology all over it.
As for YOUR situation, yes there ARE abuses in the mental health profession. These abuses do need to be exposed and stopped. Getting involved in Scientology is not the way to do that. Please keep Scientology and your feelings about psychiatrists totally separate. Scientologists WILL exploit you and your feelings about psychiatrists.
If you let yourself get pulled into Scientology they will only steal all your money and then try to convince you that your emotional problems are all YOUR fault, that YOU did something evil to someone else or that all your difficulties are because you didn't help disseminate Scientology. All theses accusations are totally bogus. This is what they did to me! I almost caved in and commit suicide.
Please read the material I've referred you to before you make any decisions that could affect your life so drastically.
Wayne Whitney "I've been there"