Jesus walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The parrot says to the bartender, "RAWWWK, gimme a beer." The bartender says, "That's amazing! Where did you get him?" The parrot says, "RAWWWK, Jerusalem."
Pages with the graphic are Mariner's Ministries pages. The pages marked with the are HolySmoke pages. These pages represent the opinions of their various authors, and readers must exercise critical thinking when reading them. None of these files are presented as factual by Shy David: accept or reject them as you see fit, research them or not, as you see fit.
Many of these pages are humorous. Most are sarcastic. If you are a timid little Fundamentalist Theist, you will probably be offended. That's the authors' whole point: if the truth offends one, maybe one should reconsider ones beliefs and prejudices.
|"Take your book of Revelation and stick it up your ass. If you can get it past your ears, that is..." -- Karl Schneider|
|"The three divisions of the Federal Government, executive, legislative, and judicial were modeled after the diversity and unity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit." -- Jeff Wheeler, Fundamentalist Christian|
|"Ever notice there's no 'Bible for Dummies?' Way too redundant." -- Marty Leipzig, Wicked Ole Atheist|
|"For someone who says he doesn't believe in Satan, you sure talk just like him!" --- Actual e-mail from a Fundamentalist Christian|
|"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a religion and he'll starve to death praying for a fish." -- Judith Bandsma|
|"Giving money to the church is like having a telethon for idiocy."|
|"God's not anything. He doesn't exist. The judgement you refer to is your own fantasy. Unable to directly state your superiority and your desire for the demise of people who aren't like you, you invent gods to do your vengeful bidding. Fortunately, it's transparent to anyone packing more than two functional synapses." --- edweird|
|"As for the Ten Commandments being posted in a court of law, I would rather see the judges partaking of absinthe and the jurors smoking crack." -- Preston Simpson|
"In our society generally, politeness dictates a certain show
of respect for anything religious. At a meeting, when somebody
says, 'let us pray,' heads generally nod; in public, when
somebody shares his beliefs, one nods again out of good manners;
on one's doorstep, when somebody interrupts dinner to offer a
copy of Watchtower, one is supposed to refuse politely,
restraining one's impulse to disembowel the jerk where he
stands. Believers are so used to this automatic deference, so
accustomed to supposing it to be their due, that they tend often
to be quite shocked at what they see when they show up on
"HolySmoke ain't polite." -- Don Martin